Just toasted a glass of brandy with my own reflection to my dimples. Why are you not here?
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
Its trashy in the best of ways. Like a stripper working to pay for college.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Just lifeguarded a kid's party hungover so I could afford to go out drinking tonight. Circle of life shit goin on here.
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
It's ok. I will share any beautiful men that I drug and leave unconscious on my bed. I'm that kind of friend.
What happened?
New Orleans
Every time
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
Your vagina is not a steamboat from the 1800's
aloe plants are like gummy bears with an exoskeleton, but with healing powers instead of deliciousness.
are you on the drugs???
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
Yoooooo, the fat magician married the chick I dumped a beer on after I got pissed he was flirting with her in front of me
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