i kno its fucked up..but id rather sleep it off than seek medical attention right now
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
just added God to my list of friends who can only see my limited profile on facebook. its such a relief to know that He can't watch me fuck up my life anymore.
Ive decided I'm sending thank you notes to all the bars for graduation.
I think you can do her, she seemed pretty set for revenge the second time her boyfrind high fives her in the face.
So not only did you shoot down my invitation and prob walked past my house but now ur excluding me from a wet t shirt contest which btw i totally would have won
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I'm sorry but I require more work than your hamster. I need food, a minimum of 5 pillows, and I need to be played with daily.
Nothing is working I'm going to die alone and on hold with a State Farm representative
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
My mom just woke me up with a cowboy hat and sunglasses on. It's 7 am and she's drunk.
I had a date last night. His dog threw up in his bed while we were having sex in it.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
