it's one of those mornings where you are proud of yourself just for waking up.
just as he was about to cum he started shouting "I THINK I CAN! I THINK I CAN!" over and over again.
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
How sober do you have to be to donate blood?
my night ended in me puking all over jenna's bed, then me trying to wash the sheets in the toilet.
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
How do I tell her I need the lights out when I'm getting head because she and my mom share a perm color
Now you know my pain. Live with it. Own it. Recognize it. Cause its like shitting napalm.
I just did a line of coke with an Olympic bronze medallist. I guess we know why he only got bronze.
hey, being drunk and dumb is my thing. Don't take that away from me.
we fucked and then he hand fed me a hot pocket
My house is about to be spotless and the only person visiting is the plumber and not the porno kind.
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
