fuck the hobbit
what about unicorns?
fuck those pointy horses
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
I JUST WOKE UP ON A TRAIN
I SHUDNT B ON A TRAIN
He asked if I wanted to "hang out"
A verb which here means "do lines off my dick"
To tired for the bar. Came home and drank wine out of the bottle. Kind of don't want to know what that says about my life.
Why is everyone else growing up when I'm just crying, eating, and having pregnancy scares?
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
After being his wingman last night, I've decided I will never talk about becoming a lesbian ever again. Picking up chicks is way too hard.
no, I didn't go in the end. Too hungover and hot, plus Star Wars is on so obviously I'm having a naked day.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I'm not letting you use my bathroom unsupervised anymore. You peed in the sink thinking it was a urinal...
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
Randomize
