Note to self: When getting ready to leave with a kid in a wheelchair don't say Let's roll
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
you went to subway and got pissed when they refused to deep fry your sub
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
a guy tried paying for lapdances with cds, who uses those anymore?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
im in the library and there's this guy on a computer just staring at a google image of beer. finals week is rough.
Got a text that the fed tax return dropped into my account just before getting on the first leg of my flights the Vegas. Fate? Viva Las Vegas!
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
The Stanley Cup Final is killing me. I can't go to work drunk again.
I may not have my dignity, pride or sanity but I have my pants.
I'm on a walk of shame carrying YOUR pants. You owe me.
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