The girls stopped by my apartment. They caught me naked with a nearly empty bottle of vodka in one hand, drawing crop circles in the carpet with the vacuum.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
False alarm it was margarita mix all over my hands not blood
I just hit the bong during the whole bday song then blew the candles out with my exhale.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
Definitely had a dick in my ass while watching the Seahawks win. Best NFC Championship game ever.
I was drunk and gave him my dad's phone number instead because somehow I thought that'd be funny. Man did that fucking backfire
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
we should paint friendship bongs
Randomize
