okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
Just realized I left my heels in their microwave. Whoops.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
I think I want to impress his gay best friend more than him..
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
I just sneeze out a chunk of leftover pickle I threw up last night. dont you try and tell me your day is going worse
I'm only friends with her because I can't stop watching the train wreck.
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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