I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
Fuck it dude, we gotta bounce before she starts talking about her steve irwin conspiracy
Am I undercharging for one hour of sex per essay? I need a serious business answer.
i'm way too high for it to be safe that i just discovered i have a fire extinguisher
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
I'M TRYING. TO WATCH. PORN. PLS HAVE UR IMPORTANT DISCUSSIONS ELSEWHERE FUCKERS
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
And since we used to fuck you are absolutely obligated to like my tweets
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
