i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I thought about farting is his face when he was going down on me last nite.
I'm puking to John Mayor, save me. Or at least change it to somethong beyyt
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I told her my hands felt like they touched the sun, never been that stoned before
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
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