So someone put the baby mannequins in sex positions
The sex was so not worth the four dollars it cost to drive over the bridge
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
He called my vagina a rainforest. This is coming from a guy whose pubes are longer than his dick.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Look man, sometimes you just gotta say "Sure! Why not? I can always take a shower afterwards"
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
If you break up with me one more time it's over.
I cannot, in good conscience, let you talk to a guy who wears Chaps and a knit beanie
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