if i could have babies with my dog i totally would cause i know thay would be fucking hott babies.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
I keep finding coffee grounds in my vagina
im still trying to figure out who put the honey mustard in the blender then put the entire blender into the freezer
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
Im laying on the couch wishing someone was here to pour wine in my mouth. I need an alcohol IV
I'm a complete klutz, especially when I get excited. I pee a lot too. I'm like a puppy except I don't pee in the floor.
People were wondering why I started hanging out with him after high school, the simple answer is now that I don't see his dorky ness everyday I can just focus on his amazing penis.
I totally have a huge crush on him though which is fucking up my "classy she-demon with limited feelings" vibe
was I atleast graceful when I feel down that flight of stairs and broke my hand?
Life should not be this hard with a dick this big.
Guy from the bar last night left his number on my waterbill on the counter, at the bottom he put don't forget I can hook you up at Little Caesars I work their part time.
You sure know how to pick em.
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