We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
We listened to Rod Stewart Pandora and slow danced in the shower.
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I'd rather be castrated by angry chipmunks Than live your life for 24 hours
The roommate asked me to make sure no one fucked in his room. And then preceded to give only me permission to fuck in his room. Had no idea who I was, just thought I was trustworthy cause I had Edward 40 hands. Felt like a Tarantino movie.
I thought it was improvement but then i realized sex isn't an emotion and I hate everyone
I'm gonna forget you just shared your personal blowjob aesthetic with me and move on
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
I can barely operate my hands; what makes you think I can operate my dick
Randomize
