I think I gave almost everyone at that party the clap last night
i told him i was gay. he said that gay guys are supposed to be pretty.
Not me. I think "beastiality" sounds pretty classy.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
He grabbed every salt shaker in the apartment and we haven't seen him since. He really really doesn't want to shovel snow anymore.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I don't think I've ever met a guy with a bush bad enough that I would choose a cactus over it.
Hes done the math! Hes calculated how much sex it's going to take to fuck 365 miles. Now thats a little brother im proud of. New resolutions are a go!
I'm so hung over that I just tried to send you a screen shot of the cracked screen on my phone.
Don't worry you weren't as drunk as you thought. You only fell 4 times.
Legit just heard the bartender tell some Dude "Penis is not an accepted currency in this establishment" and Dude responded "You take Vagina then?"
Randomize
