Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I gave him a blowie and after he said he wanted to send a giftbasket to the girl we met through.
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
i feel like an archaelogyst. im pulling apart last weeks brownies to find the weed in them
Well technically because of daylight savings, I only lasted 15 mintues.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
I just want my kids to know I fucked some really hot dudes before their father.
You're going to scar your kids
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
Yo did you say we are blacking out saturday night and playing dodgeball?
Yeah for relay for life. Its for cancer
Randomize
