Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
he said i was chugging vodka in the parking lot, gave my # to a married man, started a food fight, and passed out at the bar. how could he NOT consider that a good first date???
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
WHAT THE FUCK. SUCH A BAD IDEA. YOU'RE NO LONGER IN CHARGE OF NOSE SUBSTANCES.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Although I feel like awkward kinda describes your entire sexual history...
I mean, "boo" isn't the appropriate response to someone dying...
Being in nursing school really pays off when your dealer tries to pass off naproxen as Percocet. Like I may have made a C in pharm but I aced the pain drug test
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I remember being like "I can't hold both of you guy's hair back!" so I put headbands on each of you
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
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