Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
You smell like a Billy Joel song
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
I got to masturbate in Rome in a gorgeous hotel room. Don't try and tell me I need a boyfriend
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
Late night whataburger runs are great, except if you're the one that gets left black out drunk puking in the backyard drinking from the water hose
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
After passing out at the kitchen table, you woke up in my parents bed in between them. With no pants on.
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
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