Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
I just found three unopened cans of PBR behind our futon that I think I was saving for winter.
well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
Did you just say he wants to put a baby inside me?
That UFC fighter fucked me so hard I have what can only be described as a "cuntcussion"
Was booty called last night and I was so blacked out that my roomie made me puke before going to "eye of the tiger." Why I'm still single is beyond me
That's the fall semester you first snorted drugs off my ass I think
And then I discovered that while drunk last night I called the NAACP and left an angry voicemail demanding they fix the racism at my school
In bathroom. Hand in air with cell phone. Help.
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
no i'm going to the dr today, he fucking banshee-shrieked in my ear as he was coming and now i can't hear out of it
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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