Courtney? Is that you? I have pictures of this very same night.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
i wish they had a 'baby daddy' section in halmark, like, "hey, i know you didn't want this child and you're doing a horrible job, but here's to making you cry on fathers day"
We're gonna have to suck it up and start making out for free drinks. No homo. I'm watching Tyra "I kissed a girl and I got free drinks."
Let's do it. All homo
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
some guy just pulled a dress out of a fax machine...I have no idea what the hell is going on
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
i don't think they understood the house was collapsing. they kept dancing and jumping and asking for more cups.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Oh my god. I'm not ready to be an adult. I'm not ready.
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
Randomize
