I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
What's wrong?
Long week. Sore muscles. Bad back. Hangover. Mini-keg. Crazy ex-wife. Unavailable love-interest. Dead celebrity families. Republicans.
Pussy.
My relationship with VH1 is so bittersweet
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
tell me how i ended up in the movie theater alone with a bottle of smirnoff and a bendy straw.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
If I had a penis, I would stick it EVERYWHERE. I don't know what these guys are doing.
I think im definitely allergic to shell fish. Or hungover. Probably both.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
This is my gift to your gina
There really needs to be a redbox for wine because I want some but too lazy to walk into a store
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Randomize
