i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
I think I wrote "thanks for the free alcohol!!!" in their wedding guest book and I'm almost positive I signed my name
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Just because you graduated a semester early, doesn't mean you can take a semester off of drinking. Sorry.
OPIZZABONMYDICK
Come on down you're the next contestant on "lets go drinking!"
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I was just tryna bring you beer girl. I should've known you'd be shirtless though
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
My dog just blew me a kiss. First of all I'm stoned and second of all he's a pitbull. Those aren't sexual dogs. So wtf.
Randomize
