I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
yeah seriously, fuck school. I'm changing my master's thesis question from "what are the neuropsychological correlates of antisocial personality" to "will my cat drink this beer"
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I was talking to this girl who was in love with the air force. I was doing decently until I mentioned that the navy actually has more planes. Cockblocked by my knowledge of random trivia again.
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
Yea, you were talking about how you did not want to be a reindeer for at least 5 minutes.
I think I collapsed a disk in my spine when I drunkenly lifted that fat girl on my shoulders to chicken fight at the pool.
I'm toasting stale bread and thinking of you
Is that a sex thing?
Mike's my new hero. There's a flagpole of hook-up's bras on his porch and a week's supply of beer in his fridge but he still has a great job.
I was trying to drink every time they said planned parenthood but my body isn't cut out for this.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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