Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
Someone left a shot of disaronno in a champagne glass here this morning... flip a coin?
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
She got a digital picture frame for her birthday. FINALLY - a place for me to sneak all those penis shots I've taken with my iPhone.
The more I stare at her and block out what she's actually saying with thoughts of what she could be saying, the more interested I become
I know it was you that I fucked last night... I can smell my disappointment all over the sheets
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
deryk tried to steal your screen door and i think sam and brent are duct taping lauren to the diving board.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
THERES A FUCKBOY IN MY PERSONAL SPACE
GET IT AWAY FROM ME IM ALLERGIC
We broke up. My life is now 7 inches less.
whenever dudes said you had nice tits you'd scream at them "This double push-up bra is full of deceit and lies!"
Please stop telling my mom she doesn't have nipples when she's been drinking. You know shell show you. Forcefully.
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