This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I had to convince you not to write "happy birthday to the first guy who fingered me" on his facebook wall, right above the post from his current girlfriend's mother.
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
YES. YOU ARE GOING TO HAVE SEX WITH ME WHILE I SING LES MIS.
It's like a harem of immaturity and bad ideas...and that's coming from me
On the food pyramid big dick are "sometimes foods"
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I never thought I could be this turned on by a man wearing racoon tails.
Per my usual Thursday, I blacked out and slept on the stairs.
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
