He's married, a coworker, and a smoker. not sure which personal rule broken i'm most ashamed of...
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
She's good at three things and two of them involve dicks. And other one involves her love for arts
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
I'm love that we're talking about a possible 3rd 3some, and that you're going to be a dad.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Between the dance party in the car and the distraction of the momma bear and two cubs im a cops wet dream roght now when comes to wreckless driving.
I think the paper my teacher just handed back to me had one of his pubes on it, I'm way too hungover for this
I mean there are things broken right and left, I woke up surrounded by dog statues, and we had a vodka bubble bath.
Next time I take edibles I'm getting chipotle to cater the event
i knew my hormones were back to normal when i went to ikea and didn't want to fuck any of the workers
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
And speaking of good acting I may have a sex tape now
I swear to god, if you ever yell my name during sex with my sister again..your balls will be stapled to your nipples.
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