Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
i am breaking up with you. because you wash your hair too much and you only drink light beer and because you're not party enough.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I can't figure out how to get this beer bong in my carry on without airport security questioning me as it goes through the x-ray.
How many times do I have to drunk reject you for our friendship to become awkward? Cause were at 9 as of last night
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
I think I might be harboring a Canadian in my womb.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Told him my main goal was to seduce the man and convince him to leave his wife for me. He didn't argue just asked me to let him know if I succeeded so he didn't waste anymore time not sleeping with the secretary at his office. I have an incredible boyfriend.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
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