hey can i play with your boom stick tonite? I'll let you shoot the love of jesus in my face.
come over
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
conquered wheelchair sex. it's rather convenient. you'd think it was made for it, with all those handles and adjustable features.
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
Guess who just got out of a ticket because the cop liked her costume? THIS GIRL.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
OMG BTW REMEMBER HOW HE ORDERED PIZZA THAT ONE TIME WE HOOKED UP. APPARENTLY HE WAS HANDING IT OUT TO PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN MY BUILDING AS HE WAS LEAVING
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Woke up on the couch with one cowboy boot on and a hat over my crotch. God bless texas.
How do we have all these hot friends who we never do body shots off of
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
Randomize
