She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
Apparently faking a threesome isn't as much fun as you'd think
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's almost like he dry humped the last remaining bit of good person out of me.
He made me eat donuts off his dick. donuts, jen. DONUTS.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
You're the only person I know who can be puking into a trash can at 8 in the morning in Manhattan and get a date out of it....
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
It feels weird going to sleep without hugging the toilet goodnight
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