No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
sometimes when i'm walking through campus i wonder how many of these people have seen me puke
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
yeah i fucked her in the storage room on the inflatable mattress. i don't know if i should feel proud for me or bad for her.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
Gonna send a picture of my negative pregnancy test with the message "Merry Christmas" to the guys I've been sleeping with. That alone, will put a huge dent in my shopping list of gifts for people.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
I learned tonight while in another country that no matter the nationality, men are disappointing in bed
Randomize
