Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
you are the best fuck buddy i could have, all the others get feelings and morals involved
Fucking him was like shopping for my first training bra.. Embarrassing yet extremely useful
he just chased his shot of tequila with a chicken nugget.. either its a canadian thing or hes wasted
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
You take a step back sometimes and are like "when was the last time I was sober?" or "wow I need to stop putting everything in my vagina"
Is this an intervention?
The whole bar erupted and in happiness and confusion as I went on about pancakes.
I had a sex with someone last night and I was so drunk. i told him to tell me his whole name so I can say it back to him in a "sexy" way.... Because I forgot it
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
he just got here with a handle of tequila and box of condoms. looks like i'll be spending the weekend in bed
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
You kept saying “keke” over and over so I slapped you then you proceeded to ask if I loved you. In case you’re wondering why you have a black eye - Lauren
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
