that place is a roofie-colada waiting to happen
i'm ok with that.. with the right DD it's just a cheaper drunk.. it's the economy, stupid
if socks could get pregnant i would have catholic amounts of kids
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
being pregnant is like rehab
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
If he thinks that that is an acceptable way to ask me out he is out his goddamn ginger mindddddd.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
You were drunk at 5 You went to the dining hall and cried because your brain and fingers weren't working. Your RA came up to you and suddenly you became sober. I was very proud of you.
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
Randomize
