and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
i guess its officially winter break. i woke up alone and fully clothed this morning.
he took off my shirt and said 'oh my god the legends are true'
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
you texted him "it's time for the no pants dance", please get your tubes tied.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Last night I dreamt that I sold my car and used the money to have wheels surgically implanted in my feet and legs so I became a human heely and I just rolled everywhere
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
Threesomes are not as fun as you'd think. I left with a black eye and I'm not sure who's to blame.
Randomize
