no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
I cannot believe I said bareback movement...
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
How do you feel? I threw up in a towel. Also, a lot of other things.
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Can I fire a pigeon out of a t shirt gun?
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
This drink tastes like mosquito repellent.
Quit giving me a hard time, whens the last time you got head every night? Cougars are where its at they dont play games
not only did u rap a voicemail to me last night.... but it lasted so long that it cut you off so you called back to finish..... never do this again
Randomize
