speaking of unleashing monsters, we need to get condoms
time to smoke my breakfast
My drug dealer is spending the weekend in my studio apartment. I feel like I've crossed a line that should never be crossed.
Whoever decided putting Tom Seizmore and Heidi Fleiss together in rehab should win some kind of award.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
It sucks laughing and vomiting at the same time, trust me. I kind of remember
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
I can only get day drunk because of my medicine now, so... There's that
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
BRIAN AND ANTHONY SPOON FED MY BROTHER MACARONI AND CHEESE WHILE HE WAS FUCKING ZARA. THEY WENT TO HIGHFIVE HIM AND ZARA WAS LIKE "WOO!" AND HIGHFIVED THEM FIRST
I am certain that you would be a mere freckle on the behemoth of slutty that has taken place at this complex.
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