the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
i cant wait for all this BS that is happening with Tiger to happen to Tebow
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
nothing like baby laughter to ruin a masturbation moment
You NEED to fuck him he's a doctor with one leg. Are you kidding me right now. This will definitely make the list. Plus he buys all of us drinks.
I'm not sure which is more depressing, the fact that the hospital is making me put together a living will before surgery, or that all i'll be leaving behind is 25k in student loan debt
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
The cat be actin like a 2:30 am poop is the time to tell me all about her thoughts and fears in life. No bitch, this is definitely alone time.
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I'm pretty happy on the couch eating Popeyes and watching Cops so if I go over there you better have drugs left
the awesomest thing about staying behind in our lame ass dorm room by myself during spring break: I've now nutted in 3 inconspicuous locations on your side of the room. brag to me again about how fucking awesome tahoe is you shithead. I dare you.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
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