Reflecting on last night, I'm not sure if making out with a 43 y/o married woman at Bernie's after the Cubs game was my best life decision...
North Korea, Best Korea!
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
a kid in a transformers shirt tried to pick me up last night at work. he also rolled up on a bicycle, the kind with pedals. do i look that easy?
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
This wouldn't happen so much if fat girls would just stop being so damn easy.
okay, this game isn't funny anymore. tell us where all the forks are.
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
We found him wrapped up in a giant table umbrella in the bathroom.
It's like you're the one guy who got the "girls have clits" memo.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
Randomize
