theres a boy scout troop on my plane. right now theyre playing wilderness games. let me just tell you how excited i am to hit on all of them
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
Of all the things I am low enough to do, how could you even doubt if that was one of them?
i'm on the subway and being revisted by the ghosts of tequilas past.
I wonder if i could put a dildo on my bike seat to encourage me to exercise.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
A total of 95 cents was stuck to my ass the next morning.
Well I can't go home with anyone tonight bc I stuffed my bra
i swear i just dislocated a hip staying still
Oh my god did you actually lose a tooth
The highlight was when a stranger was nose to nose with you threatening to kick ur ass, and you said "Is that your real face? Stopped him dead.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Oh lord. I have no recollection. I just got up. Surveying the damage. Found phone with messages out by pool. Still have not located my top or determined when i stopped wearing it
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Randomize
