So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
Last night I saw a drag queen take a shot of Red Hot that was soaked into a tampon. I fucking love my life!
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
Yeah, you spent an hour in front of the mirror trying to reenact the Sailor Moon theme song.
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
Sorry about that whole "setting your deck on fire" thing.
Not sure if he was actually hot or hot in a "he brought a live chicken to the party" kinda way but I got his # regardless
Can't we have real sex instead of you just thrusting the air near me?
friends are allowed to bang on New Years, I read it on the Internet somewhere.
I can't. I'm going camping this weekend. I do have a life outside of your dick.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement 😭😂
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
