at church Sunday morning I dropped an M&M down my dress and it landed in my bra. I fished it out and ate it. A lot of people saw me.
the best part about tonight...knowing when i wake up in the morning his car will still be full of packing peanuts..and mine wont
Its not small because its small, Its small because it was cold outside
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
Would it help you get over me if I told you that I had unprotected sex last night?
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
if things do not go as planned you should see me walking down I81 blindfolded and pantless
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
It wasn't your birthday, you weren't supposed to be the drunk one
When people keep buying you drinks at the bar because they like you, you can't say no to them
Apparently we carried the stove upstairs. I Woke up with it in my room.
I still maintain we were not that drunk......
Dude, Dimensionally it doesn't even fit in that stairway! We might have to knock a wall out to get it back down!
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
