This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I wish there was some sort of "recently added" function for blackberrys so i could see what random numbers i got from the night before
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
She said I wasn't helping her abandonment issues by not responding to her texts at 4 am
Yeah I remember I tried to close her head in the freezer last night
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
Within the first 2 minutes of this morning, I found out the Lions lost on last play, and Scott Weiland died. I wont be in today.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
Do you remember seeing anyone put a "my other penis is a vagina" bumper sticker on my car?
Randomize
