is wine microwaveable?
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
It just hit me that i made out with someone's mom last night
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
We had sex in the woods. It was great until some bird started mimicking my orgasm sounds
every time fb tells me a dude i fucked is now friends with another dude ive fucked, i die a little inside. thats way more honesty than im comfortable with.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
I just passed a drug test. I want to shout that from the top of a mountain. Can we have beers on the top of a mountain?
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
Today's been pretty great, I went and bought the new Batman for the sole purpose of masturbating to Bane
If you come home and I'm pantsless with cake smeared all over my face, I'm sorry.
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
So you're at your daughter's volleyball game looking at dicks online? That's amazing.
No, I was picking her up from volleyball and sitting in my car looking at dicks.
either he just commented on my nose ring or he's offering me cocaine, I honestly can't tell
Randomize
