I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
so i decided not to tell her that her fiance is cheating since i already bought the bridesmaid dess
Think about all of the events that have led to this: me sitting in the back of my classroom drinking beer out of a taco bell cup, telling the teacher I have to leave early to go to an AA meeting.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
i'm traumatized. his orgasm face consisted of him looking like my dead grandfather and burping.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
what kind of roommate is she really? she wouldn't even hold my hair back.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I thought I could grab a hold of my stream of urine. So she left pretty soon after that.
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
hell or highwater he WILL get a blowjob in the hammock before the end of summer.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
