So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
I am fine. Katie thinkr i broke things pole dancing. I am coherant.
Why the fuck is the royal wedding at 4am. That is obviously not the most appropriate time to drink during finals. It's like I'm bound to fail, by royal decree.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Walking down the street at 11 pm dressed in bubble wrap. Why is the bar so fucking far away??
We had on the same team jersey so at the time it made sense to hook up.
Duh.
Why are there hooting douchebags outside my building? Did a sport happen again?
We're going to work out tomorrow I guess but it usually consists of doing weights for 10 minutes, then saying fuck cardio and going to Taco Tuesday
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Executive decision.... we are cuddling naked
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