Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
went to library to start paper due tomorrow & took those orange addys u gave. now realizing they were ur xanax. completely fucked and going to fail, but calmly at peace with the situation.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I'll start choreographing the sperm rain dance now
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
And then he posed under the bed and said, "you should draw me like one of your french girls." Why do they keep giving this kid drugs?
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I'll have you know my trust issues and my daddy issues are two COMPLETELY different topics of conversation.
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I've never been this drunk around this many toddlers
I need to get all the one night tinders in my system before I move back in with my parents
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