On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
when i was ordering pizza, the guy muffled the phone but i could clearly hear him say "its that drunk bitch again"
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
I bought you a small gift as a preemptive apology for being a drunken slut tonight.
Every time I roll over in bed I land on a different vibrator. I feel I'm the only one with this problem.
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
His penis has been a bonding mechanism beyond comparison.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
So we just smoked a bowl, out of an antler, with this old dude, while standing at the bar. Dude just walked up and said we were in his spot, just began packing it and handing it around...
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
Tell me why i have 60 matches in 72 hours on tinder. Can i sell my tinder account like people used to sell their myspace pages and tumblrs when they had a lot of followers? Is that a thing?
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