Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
this is not the time for floating mt dew and shots of tequila.
I just got a reminder alert on my phone for an event I titled "Bradley getting stupid high with me in bed." I assume we planned this during the party. I'm down if you are.
Hes pre-made beer lollipops so he "can suck before the sex" QUOTE!
We left his house because I forgot how to drink water, I was just holding it in my mouth and then spitting it out, needless to say I don't remember the sex.
He got hit with a horseshoe, set on fire, fell out of a tree, and puked all over the side of his car, all before midnight. Everclear.
Def went to work still drunk... the only comment i got was good to see you drinking more water...
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
My new superpower is making fuckboys disappear!
Bending dicks and egos since 2002
Should I wish him a happy birthday?
Well he has been inside of you enough times that you probably should.
I woke up in a warehouse with the words “Property of Adam” written on my chest in frosting.
Randomize
