i just walked in on my sister drunkenly sobbing to sarah mclachlan. its time for an intervention.
didn't that happen to you last weekend?
shut up.
Girls should come with a carfax report
just got my girl scout cookies. wanna get high?
yea i really dont care about the sex, i just want him to eat my vag. He has to be good at because of his tremors.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
As your attorney I advise you to rage rapidly
Wearing a shark mask, slugging tequilla, in cowboy boots, and not minding that my spandex is on backwards. What are you up to?
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
I had no idea he had such passive aggressive animalistic tendencies. This is the human equivalent of peeing on someone.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Good thing he's hot and my vagina likes him or I'd be at Dennys right now.
Randomize
