I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
just woke up and this girl had my cellphone nestled in the front of her thong. i kept thinking "is this a trap?"
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I want to give my boyfriend great head for his birthday...can i practice on you?
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
You don't seem to appreciate the rareness of his junk.
Send me a picture. I'm more of a visual learner.
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
Of course not. I'd be offended if you didn't bring my boobs into casual conversation.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
If I had a dollar for every straight boy that questioned their sexuality because of me, I would live a comfortable middle-class life.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
