It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
dude, she masturbates with a ken doll.
Sarah Palin just got hired for Fox News. Watch out Jersey Shore... there's a new drinking game in town
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I hit him with a car. Nothing says I hate you more than backing into someone with a fucking car.
She gave me a foot massage while her friend rode me. Your gf puked into the oscolating fan. How were our nites alike?
Well I don't know him that well so I don't think I can give advice. You should make him a cake. Or have sex with him.
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
These are all good points. But, I think your under estimating what it's like to be held upside down for a standing 69
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I’m going to try to be less of a cryptic bitch this week. Should be nice.
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
Randomize
