i'm so hungover...i might vomit in a handbag instead of selling them
Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
He told me something must be wrong, because no one had seen my boobs yet
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
New game I thought of while bored on the train. Anytime I get a text from an ex, I will randomly text a different ex. It's like a less charitable version of pay it forward.
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
So do you guys remember Danny from Tinder?
Sorry I only remember personality traits, not names.
Randomize
