Vanilla vodka + chocolate soymilk does NOT equal an epic milkshake.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Everyone else in class agrees the weed smell is coming from me
I have major gossip for you.
Oh no, did you have sex last night?
If I had sex last night I'd probably post it on facebook. It's been that long and I'd be that excited.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
I think I was the only one who knew you were acting like you weren't drunk in public issues discussion this morning. Make sure you thank me in your Academy Award Speech someday.
TOPLESS DRIVE THRU! I have no money and my dignity is at an all time low.
You can't just be this socially awkward and sexually frustrated and jealous as a fucking demon and be expected to stay sober.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
I don't think I've ever had this many people offer me blow before. 3 o'clock on a Thursday. I keep good company.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
I just kept eating and watching him slide down the stairs head first
Randomize
