I gave up sex with dolphins for you.
apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
Just witnessed a circumcision at clinical. i suddenly feel a sense of reconciliation over every guy who's done me dirty...
She is feeding us popcorn out of her bra
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
You don't know commitment until you try and waterproof a non-waterproof vibrator
Nah, just ran around, pinned random men to walls, bit their lips of and booked it.
You called me your momma bear, and then demanded more vodka
His premature ejaculation problem is getting old.
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
Yo whoever left a thong on the dining room table, first of all get help second of all please remove it now
Never in my life have I seen a grown ass man get on all fours and attempt to buttfuck himself with the leg of a chair. I love Vegas!
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I learned three things this morning. Don't get out of my car without my keys, don't let a girl paint my nail unless I'm getting laid by said girl, and lastly I learned how to break into my own car.
Randomize
