Well. Nothing came of that. And to think I manscaped and dusted with gold bond.
No, we ended up finding him drunk at a bus stop downtown sitting on the bench asking people for chocolates and amazing stories to "rid his mind of his whore of a girlfriend"
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
Ughh on my way to the bathroom now... literally just puked on myself and cleaned it off with a hot dog bun... I love tailgate
dude, I'm listening to "I believe I can fly", i'm high, and driving. this is so amazing.
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
I damn near set my vagina on fire. WHILE The Flaming Lips played in the background. Intensely apropos.
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
