you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
i think he was starting go for a boob grab when we both realized the middle of a public tennis court wasn't the place
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
They have a stripper pole on their deck. Normal.
Kid got laid mid-party wearin a fuzzy hat with ears and 40's taped to his bear paws... wtf
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I keep jumping up and down in front of the mirror naked. The only motivation I would be to stop and put clothes on is if you come over. Hurry.
So the woman who sold us weed at the park is pregnant. With another small child. And the basket she used to carry the joints is decorated with Barney stickers.
She's like a yuppie Nancy Botwin. She just gets better and better.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
My booty call made my bed while I was in the shower. I may have to marry him.
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
I put the child locks on after I put you in the car and you then screamed, "I am a Phoenix, you can't restrain me. I NEED TO FLY!"
Randomize
